Family Prayers

Shaking Sobbing, the mother dampens her pillow.

My son, the golden one, lost.  God bless him, he runs from you.  God bless him I don’t know what to do.  You’re all I need, and so should he be friends with you for eternity.

I’m scared for him.  He hurts so much.  Please take this curse away from him. Take this curse and stop the sin. I’m losing, he's slipping, he’ll be gone soon.  God save him, help me reach him.  Keep him from sin

The path to God, is straight and clear.  There’s only one way, and that’s what I most fear.  That he will leave.  That he won’t stay.  That he will try to get there by some other way. 

Boy. Man. Marriage. Child.  That’s the path for him.  That’s the path away from Sin.  Any other way, and he is falling prey, to lies and darkness he’s the devils prey.

 ----

Burning, yearning the son is full of passion.  Striving, to learn, striving to understand. 

He yells at God.  He is angry.  But he has started to know.  If the supreme being of the universe wanted to take it away, He could.  But he doesn’t.  There is something to learn here.

God why, God, I feel your love.  What is the path with this trial.  Why do they not understand.  Why do they feel I’m lost, and falling, when I feel I’m progressing.  Lord you are all I need…but I think you want more for me.  I think you want me to figure out this life.  This life of unscratchable itch.  To navigate it.  To love it. While not lusting in it.

God, I am Gay.  I don’t know what made me this way.  God.  I love you so, even though I curse your name from down below.  I am finding my way.  I am finding my way, I am with you today, and forever I pray