A deacon. A ten year old. An eight year old. A five year old. A three year old and a new born.
That's what my family would be like if I followed the path of my father. The path I thought I would and that I wanted.
Instead I have a dancer, a weightlifter and a Star Wars fanatic as roommates. I have friends who would let willing to do anything fun at a moments notice and I have close friend I can talk about my struggles with.
I want the children. Children are a soft spot for me. So much growth. So much potential. The ability to create their own world and change ours.
But a wife. I do not desire that. One friend recommended a husband. I do not feel that is what I am called to.
So I'm single. Alone wanting. Wasting the years of fatherhood. Maybe someday I will want a wife. Maybe someday I will find a way to get that family. But for now I'm alone. In a world full of pleasurable distraction but void of eternal connection.
Dammit. Why am I gay.
That's what my family would be like if I followed the path of my father. The path I thought I would and that I wanted.
Instead I have a dancer, a weightlifter and a Star Wars fanatic as roommates. I have friends who would let willing to do anything fun at a moments notice and I have close friend I can talk about my struggles with.
I want the children. Children are a soft spot for me. So much growth. So much potential. The ability to create their own world and change ours.
But a wife. I do not desire that. One friend recommended a husband. I do not feel that is what I am called to.
So I'm single. Alone wanting. Wasting the years of fatherhood. Maybe someday I will want a wife. Maybe someday I will find a way to get that family. But for now I'm alone. In a world full of pleasurable distraction but void of eternal connection.
Dammit. Why am I gay.
When you eat at Outback alone, you get seated and served faster, just sayin'. ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha, very true. and the guy kept bringing me bread and shrimp faster than i could finish them.
Delete